


Recovery

by narayu



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-23
Updated: 2013-08-23
Packaged: 2017-12-24 10:24:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/938847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/narayu/pseuds/narayu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This was a fic I wrote for cmndrshprd on tumblr as a part of a giveaway.<br/>She requested a story about her femshep Vivi recovering after the Reapers were destroyed.<br/>One-shot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Recovery

There was a blinding light and the white-hot pain of burning in her side. She vaguely remembered the Marauder that had shot her right before she reached the beam.

_Did that bastard kill me?_

No, there was more. It was fuzzy, and she wasn’t sure if it was all real or some sort of nightmare but she remembered Anderson and the Illusive Man, the Catalyst, the choice.

If her body would respond properly, she’d be having a panic attack. She had convinced the Illusive Man to kill himself, _good riddance_ , but Anderson had bled out next to her and along with him the closest thing to family she had left. She had chosen to destroy the Reapers even though the Catalyst had told her she would die. But she didn’t feel dead. She felt broken, exhausted, and a little delirious, but she wasn’t dead.

When she felt warmth against her arm her eyes flew open for the first time. She blinked away the haze and blur of what felt like days of sleep and found herself face to face with whiskey brown eyes, a furrowed brow, and the concerned frown of Kaidan Alenko. Her heart fluttered.

“Doctor, I think she’s waking up.” She heard him say, or maybe she was remembering a time years ago when she’d woken up in a medbay with him staring over her concerned. But this time it was more than a throbbing headache and some weird vision bombarding her senses.

She took a mental note of her surroundings. She wasn’t in the medbay, maybe some clinic back in London. There were bandages covering most of her body, and she could tell she had broken at least a couple ribs along with her left leg and the bullet wound in her side. Her face felt sore, but not broken, and when she realized she was mostly in tact - albeit in a lot of pain - she looked back into the worried eyes of Kaidan.

“Hey Major,” she croaked in a voice that wasn’t quite right. “I must have some awful bedhead.” she joked but he didn’t look amused and she shifted uncomfortably - painfully - in the bed.

Chakwas was by her side in a few moments - Kaidan still not speaking, just looking at her with intensity - and the doctor made a joke about Vivi’s nine lives which made her chuckle but the small movements sent her into a series of coughing spasms which made her feel like she’d been rammed through the gut by a charging Krogan. Karin explained that she had been in a coma for four days, had a broken leg and two broken ribs, several contusions and a gunshot wound but no permanent damage. When Chakwas squeezed her shoulder and told her she was going to be okay, she let out a breath of relief that she hadn’t noticed she was holding and turned back to Kaidan.

He seemed to be relaxing a bit, but he was still looking at her as if she wasn’t quite real and she finally let out an exasperated sigh which caused him to blink in surprise.

“Kaidan, wanna go for a walk?” she teased and he actually glared at her, she was clearly taking the wrong approach here but she wasn’t really sure what else to do. This was her way, witty banter and sarcasm to diffuse the tension. It was one of the things Kaidan had loved about her, and now he was barely responding. She was trying to determine her next course of action when he stood up suddenly from the chair by her bed and threw his hands up in the air.

“Damnit Vivianne,” _shit, full name, this was serious_ , she thought in mild alarm. To Kaidan she was always either Shepard or Vivi, he never used her full name, in fact - she couldn’t remember a single time in the over three years that she’d known him in which he had. “You almost died up there without anyone knowing where you are, we find Anderson and the Illusive Man dead and a pool of your blood nearby, somehow the Reapers are all destroyed and the next thing we know your body,” he paused, running a rough hand through his hair as he paced and she could do nothing but stare until he was ready to finish his thought, “your fucking _body_ was brought in with barely a pulse and they said you had nearly bled to death.” He sighed, collapsing into the chair with his head in his hands, breathing heavily as if he’d used the last of his energy to chide her on almost dying. “And then… you ask me if I wanna go for a walk? Jesus, Vivi, what am I supposed to do with that?”

She blinked at him, not really sure what to say. Her eyes were darting around the room looking for something to help her out, but there were no answers in the white walls of the small clinic and when she finally dragged her eyes back over his face she frowned. He was looking at her now and there was something so sad about the sight but at the same time, she felt a laugh bubbling up from her chest as she looked over him with his pleading brown eyes and his unkempt hair and the way his mouth was twisted in that frown that was so adorable that it was tough to take him seriously.

All at once his face cracked and they both burst into laughter. Kaidan nearly leapt onto the bed with her as he took her face in his hands and whispered earnestly:

“Don’t you ever scare me like that again,” right before he kissed her. It was soft, the kiss of a man who was trying to be gentle with his fragile lover who had just broken bones and fought off Reapers and saved the fucking galaxy. But soft wouldn’t do, less than a week ago she had been convinced that she would never see him again, that she’d never see anyone again. She had been willing to sacrifice herself for her friends and their futures and the futures of every individual in the galaxy, _even the damn Batarians_ , she realized with a wry smile. She used the arm that hurt the least and lifted it to his neck before curling her fingers into his hair and pulling him into her. He pulled back with a breathless _‘_ _Shepard’_ but she held him against her, deepening the kiss, proving to him that she could handle it, that she _needed_ it, and he complied. All of the light hearted joking and half-sarcastic comments fell from her mind and it was a sobering feeling to realize that she had almost died, she had almost lost him, she had almost lost everything, and she had almost made him mourn her again. She made a mental vow to never put any of them through that again. His fingers curled around her neck, tracing small circles at the base below her amp jack and she sighed happily into his mouth as he kissed her with every emotion he had been holding back. And in that moment, she realized everything would be okay.

* * *

“Shepard, what in the hell are you doing?” he asked her impatiently.

“I’m trying to _pull_ the fucking _glass_ , _Major_.” she huffed at him. He had agreed to help her with her biotic training while she was still stuck on bed rest, and she was getting exceedingly more frustrated with her own lack of control after everything that had happened. She wasn’t mad at him, but she was determined to make some progress before the end of the day.

The glass was on the other side of the room on a small table directly across from her. It was empty, and the plan was to use a biotic pull on it and bring it to her. She would have been happy if she could even pull it more than a few inches, but as it was she hadn’t even managed to get it to leave the table. It was infuriating. She was a talented biotic, and while she had always preferred to be in the thick of things with a charge, she had never had trouble with her pulls - even without her amp. Now she was wishing she had one, but knew that in her fragile state it would be more danger than help. She sighed again.

“Shepard, you know it’s not going to work like that, you need to relax.” he said, soothingly now, he could clearly see she was at the end of a frazzled rope and he was trying to calm her down.

“Kaidan, I’m an invalid, I need to do _something_. You told me you’d help me, why are you chastising me?” she loved him, and she hated that she kept snapping at him, but something about the way he was trying to hold her back was really starting to get to her.

“Vivi,” he whispered, closer to her than he had been a minute ago, and she stopped concentrating to look at him. All the fight went out of her then, he was looking at her with such concern and love that she didn’t know what she had been mad about in the first place. “You’re so stubborn.” he said, clucking his tongue and wiping her face with a towel. She hadn’t realized she was sweating until then and suddenly she was extremely aware of how exhausted she felt. She leaned back in the bed and let him stroke her hair as she fell asleep.

* * *

She looked back and forth between Kaidan and Chakwas incredulously. They had to be kidding, she thought. Chakwas was looking at her with a half smirk, obviously expecting her to cause a scene. Kaidan was looking at her with practiced calm but she could see the anxiety in his eyes. This was ridiculous, she was Commander _fucking_ Shepard. She saved the galaxy a mere two weeks ago and this is what she was reduced to? She sighed, glancing pointedly at both before turning her attention back to the object in front of her.

_A cane._

They were going to be the death of her. Kaidan spoke first, in his soothing voice.

“Vivi, your leg needs time to heal, but we know you aren’t happy being stuck in bed, so we thought…” he trailed off.

“We thought maybe you could use this and start some of your physical therapy, and you wouldn’t be confined to the bed anymore.” Karin finished for him.

She frowned, looking back down at the cane before shaking her head and allowing Kaidan to help her out of the bed.

* * *

_Who would’ve thought_ , she considered cynically, _that Commander Shepard would be bested by a cane_.

After an hour of Kaidan standing by her side, hand on the small of her back, arm out so she could lean her good side against him, she had made little progress. She was in a lot of pain, and the medication Chakwas had been giving her was muting it but it wasn’t enough to make walking… or hobbling as it were… anything but excruciating.

Sweat was pouring down her face and she was spending more time wiping her brow then actually taking steps. She was feeling hopeless. If she couldn’t master walking around with the help of Kaidan and a cane, would she ever be the same again?

As if reading her mind, Kaidan whispered in her ear.

“Commander Shepard, back from the dead a second time… at least it looks like this time it’ll take less than two years to get you back on your feet.” he assured her, and he was right. She looked at him then, her chest tightening in reaction to his warmth and his patience in the last couple weeks. He was right. She wasn’t being rebuilt, she was suffering from some injuries. Hadn’t she had countless injuries in her time as a soldier? Hadn’t she spent days in the med bay before, recovering. The only difference now was that her ability to walk was being compromised. But it wouldn’t last forever. Hell, it probably wouldn’t last a month.

She smiled at him and leaned up to place a kiss on his lips. His smirk was firmly in place when she pulled back and she was confused for a moment before she realized she had put her weight against the cane to position herself in a way that she could kiss him more easily. In her movements, she had released her grip on him and was balancing herself with little difficulty and she was suddenly aware that she was not feeling the pain she had moments before.

“Sometimes, you need to get out of your own head, Vivi.” he whispered thoughtfully.  

“Good thing I have you for a distraction, eh Major?” she said, winking at him, satisfied with the darkening look he gave her, before realizing she’d have to wait much longer before acting on those distractions. She frowned again.

“Don’t worry… soon enough,” he promised, reading her mind again, and her body reacted ever so slightly to the roughness in his voice that hadn’t been there before.

“I have an idea…” she told him with a wicked grin, before letting him lead her back to her room.

* * *

He was looking at her in disbelief. She had expected nothing less, it’s not like her idea was full of promise - in fact it was probably going to do nothing more than frustrate the both of them. But her training had been nothing short of a failure, and she had to try something.

She watched the range of emotions flash across his face - anxiety, fear, desire - and finally he sighed, signaling to her that he was on board and nodded before approaching her bed.

Shepard sat up, and Kaidan adjusted her pillow so that she’d be more comfortable in the sitting position. The glass was in place on the small table across the room and she turned to Kaidan for a soft, chaste kiss before focusing her attention on the task at hand.

He sat against the bed so that his body was angled behind her a bit and he raised his hand to brush her hair from the back of her neck before he placed a kiss there. It was a tentative, barely-there kiss and she knew he was hesitating. She laid her hand on his thigh and gave him an encouraging squeeze, never letting her focus move from the glass.

He sighed and his breath was hot against her neck and she felt a stirring inside her that was not quite what she needed but definitely meant he was on the right track. He traced circles at the base of her neck while he kissed the tender skin around her amp jack. Her pulse quickened and her breathing became unsteady as he found the spot he knew so well. She could feel her biotics wanting to rage, and yet they were still just slowly vibrating to life. It was more than what she’d been able to accomplish so far, and that was progress.

“It’s working, I can feel it.” he whispered against her neck, and all she could do was nod at him silently as she attempted the pull again - without luck.

The feel of her biotic energy beneath the surface must have motivated him because Kaidan became bolder in his exploration. The hand that was not at her neck began trailing up her side, around her shoulder to her collarbone, and back down to her hip. He followed the path with his lips and teeth, and when he shifted to place a kiss at the curve of her breast through her hospital gown her biotics threatened to thrum to life in force. But still, the energy stayed just under the surface.

She frowned at the glass, feeling the sweat forming on her brow, and Kaidan shifted her forward so he was behind her on the bed, one leg on either side of her. She could feel him when she leaned back, and she rocked her hips back automatically before catching herself, remembering that they could do nothing but this for weeks to come. The sound in the back of his throat simultaneously made her feel terrible for putting him in this situation and made her want him, badly.

“Sorry,” she murmured, but he was grasping her hip with one hand, his mouth resuming its teasing at her neck and when he pulled her against him she let out a gasp and the glass moved a few inches.

“Kaidan…” she breathed.

“Shhh…” he muttered against her shoulder, “just concentrate.”

She tried, but he was doing his best to break her concentration. That wasn’t true, of course. This whole exercise was an experiment to _enhance_ her concentration. Or rather, to bring her biotics out of hiding. The concentration factor was iffy, especially with the way his hands held onto her, and his touch sent shivers down her neglected body. He hadn’t touched her like this since before their attack on the Cerberus base and she _missed_ it, even if she wasn’t allowed to act on it.

He experimented with his own biotics, lifting her hospital gown to expose her skin and then activating the nodes on his fingertips before pressing them against the small of her back. She felt her heart race as he trailed his hand up to her neck. When he reached the scar tissue where her implant was, he placed a kiss there while his fingers surrounded her amp jack, sharing his energy with her.

When he rocked his hips against her the glass moved off of the table, and when he bit down on the tender dip in her shoulder it crashed to the floor. They both burst into laughter before he turned her face to his and claimed her mouth in a hungry kiss, one that she wished she could act on with more than lips against lips.

* * *

A month after waking up in the clinic, Kaidan and Shepard walked into the apartment that used to belong to David Anderson. It had been surprisingly untouched by the Reaper war, and it seemed a little surreal walking through the door to a place she could call home.

For as long as she could remember, Shepard didn’t have a home. The Normandy was the closest thing she’d ever found, well the Normandy and Kaidan. She smiled up at him as she limped purposefully to the couch before easing her sore muscles down. That’s what he was, he was home to her. She was able to be herself with him, he challenged her and he was her strength when she needed him to be.

When he had put the bags containing her things from the Captain’s Cabin on the Normandy down by the stairs, and made sure her hamster was safe in the study, he sat down next to her on the couch with a stupid grin on his face.

“So, what do you wanna do now that you’re home?” he asked, emphasizing the word home, and she tried to hide her sadness as she reflected on the beneficiary of her living quarters. She fixed a smile back on her face when she looked at him.

“I don’t know, I could really go for some _real_ food.” she told him, making a disgusted face at the memory of the food in the clinic.

He laughed easily, pulling her into his arms and nuzzling her neck, before whispering into her ear.

“I kind of had other ideas,” he breathed - raising goosebumps over every inch of her skin - “but I assure you, they’ll definitely work up an appetite.”

“Promises, promises,” she whispered back to him in a throaty voice full of every desire shared between them in the over a month’s time since the war ended.

They kissed. And it was the first kiss of the rest of their lives, a life free of the Reapers, and a life at least temporarily free of war, a life where Spectres Shepard and Alenko at least had a little break from being heroes. It was a kiss of relief, a kiss of happiness, a kiss for every soldier lost, for every friend saved. It was a kiss of their past, a kiss that held every promise of their future. It was a kiss that said let’s take this one chance, this one moment of peace, and celebrate it together.

 

And that’s exactly what they did.


End file.
